I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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