There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
