youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
