Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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