if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
