The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
