I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
