I CAN MOONWALK!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
