I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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