if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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