he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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