i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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