All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is wine microwaveable?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize