I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
