whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
