if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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