I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A+ Viking dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
