I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
