Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
