"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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