Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
