Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
