were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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