Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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