Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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