You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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