So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize