oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
