I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
