i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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