I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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