Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my being single is dangerous.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My bed smells like the plague
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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