**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
