I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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