he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
