God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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