i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
