You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
