i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
