We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
