Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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