you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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