i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I looked at my own cervix.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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