I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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