Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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