i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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