I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
