I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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