What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
