Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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