i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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