Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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