Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this boner is exhausting
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
