we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
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after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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