it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
