I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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