I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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