why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
