used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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