bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize