Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
