Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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